


On Gardens and Feuds

by notbug (KageKashu)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Mild Voyeurism, Naked Gardening, Nudity, Pre-Slash, Skinny Dipping, hobbit au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 04:03:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20370385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KageKashu/pseuds/notbug
Summary: The Senju are crazy. Madara didn't need to be reminded of that.In which the Senju and the Uchiha are hobbits, and they pretty much feud like hobbits.





	On Gardens and Feuds

The Senju are clearly insane. Madara caught Hashirama watering his garden _naked_! Naked! Not in a euphemistic way, either. Just. Standing there. Naked as the day he was born, with a watering can in one hand, and a pipe in the other. He didn’t even have the decency to stand behind a bush when he turned around and waved to Madara, calling out a greeting, which Madara would have politely returned, if it weren’t for the fact that he could see everything. _Everything_.

Izuna catches him before he gets to the scrub brush - he wants to get that image out of his head, even if he has to physically scrub it out - which is... fortunate. Madara is rather fond of his eyes. They’re good for seeing things - not naked Hashirama - and helping him aim when throwing rocks, or acorns, or whatever he feels like throwing. Like the basket full of turnips that he threw - probably at Hashirama’s head, but... with the way his eyes were, horrifically, trapped elsewhere, his aim was probably off.

Life is unfair.

He always suspected Hashirama to be up to weird things, but he just wasn’t expecting _those kind of weird things_. He thought maybe Hashirama was summoning demons or something, or wizards - wizards would be forgivable, if only because Madara still has a slightly unhobbitish fascination with magic, or at least, with the idea of magic. How else would one explain the lushness of the Senju’s herb garden, the beauty and robust flavor of their tomatoes?

He’s never getting that image out of his head.

The Senju are crazy. It’s not news, but sometimes, he needs to reassure himself that it’s a _fact_. Hashirama only provided another example of it. Naked. In the garden. Where anyone could walk up and _see_... It’s not the first time he’s seen one of the Senju brothers naked, and it surely won’t be the last.

After all, Tobirama proves the rule - that the Senju are crazy - every time he goes swimming in the Uchiha pond. Naked. Always naked, and how many times has Madara caught him there? Too many. Far too many, but there’s surely going to be a next time. It almost isn’t shocking anymore. He’s more worried that one day he’s going to go to the pond and find Tobirama _drowned_.

Hobbits aren’t good swimmers, no matter how Tobirama seems to make a lie of it.

He’s watched Tobirama swimming a few times. At first because he was absolutely certain he was going to have to rush in and try to pull him out of the water, then because... Well. Unlike Hashirama, Tobirama is... Madara likes looking at him. Hashirama is, was a friend, before their stupid families forced a wedge between them, and to Madara, that’s not unlike a brother. Seeing Hashirama naked is just _weird_.

Tobirama’s different. Not that it matters. Madara can’t even talk to him without yelling, or huffing and puffing belligerently. It’s likely that Tobirama thinks Madara hates him, which is anything but true. Madara’s just... uncomfortable around him. Seeing him naked nearly once a week doesn’t exactly help matters.

The other Senju are nearly as bad, if in different ways. Itama’s always off to talk to any outsider he meets, and Kawarama has blown up Hashirama’s garden shed no less than five times this year, if the usual gossip is to be trusted. Their cousin, Touka, has been known to carry a stick for more than walking - she happily whacks the shins of rowdier sorts, like some kind of gammer, old before her time.

And that’s just his generation. Their parents have the most scandalous marriage Madara’s ever heard of - the rumor mill loves churning out tidbits about it, constantly - and... well. Madara’s _not_ a gossip, so he tries not to pry too much into it. But what he overhears!

Ahem.

It’s proof that it isn’t just Hashirama’s siblings - and cousin. Madara feels sorry for that poor lass that was suckered into marrying Hashirama. Unless her own family is just as crazy, she’s going to go batty soon enough.

It’s probably a good thing, that he and Hashirama aren’t friends anymore. Madara can’t imagine getting caught up in the Senju drama, day in and day out. He’d do a lot for Hashirama’s secret for tomato cultivation though. Maybe even put up with the other hobbit’s enthusiasm.

He’d rather try to wrangle it out of Tobirama. Assuming, of course, he could _talk_ to Tobirama without making a fool of himself. That’s not likely to occur any time soon.

Madara manages to get away from Izuna without even needing to make excuses, and his feet take him, unerringly, toward the pond. Where, unsurprisingly, there’s a gleam of silver and pale skin sliding through the water.

There’s a tree, at the top of the hill that’s perfect to watch from.

Madara doesn’t think twice before sitting beneath it.


End file.
